Tonight was nice. I hung out with Ashley, and we played Left 4 Dead 2 all night and watched some wedding show that we kept laughing at. It was fun hanging out with someone.
But then Alex texted me to explain something about what she said to me earlier today. I must have come off as an asshole, because she stopped talking to me again. I tried to explain that I appreciated her concern, and now she's probably just going to stop caring about that, too, because she didn't warn me she was going to bed. So I sent her another text where she told me she was sleeping.
So I did it again. I messed things up. Again. It just comes fucking naturally for me to ruin everything good. She liked a picture I posted on FB, though. She'll probably delete that now.
This is just who I am, though. It's no surprise. I'm a monster that destroys everything, and goes around dwelling and brooding.
Mom got mad at me today. I'm glad I'm not opening up to her anymore. I can't stand her, and she doesn't deserve to know all of my dark secrets. She doesn't even care. One second she acts like she does care, but then the next, she's going back to taking all her shit out on me again.
I don't really know what to do anymore. I'm just so alone, and I have no direction really. I'm falling forever it feels like.
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