Shoe made a dumb mistake today. He mentioned something about Emily at school in Savannah. I told him I don't need to hear about her, and he apologized "im sorry man x(" So I won't have to worry about that anymore.
It did fuck my whole day, though. I've been thinking about her a lot today, and I couldn't really help it. It did make me think about how I really feel about trying to get together with Allison. We both like each other, but I don't really like her that much. I kind of realized I'm only using her, and she's really just a distraction and not a good enough one that could help me get over Emily.
I think I'll just keep seeing her, and see what happens. Maybe we'll get serious or something, but I'm not really counting on it. I feel like she's not really who I want. I don't know if I'm being dumb by being too picky, or if I'm being patient by being able to wait for someone more like who I want. I guess I should think about it as she's kept me from being depressed really.
Alex and I seem to be getting along. For once, I feel like I don't care if she talks to me, but if she does, then great. I guess we're like regular friends, and it's not me pathetically trying to get some affection from her.
I don't really know if my not caring has just really and deeply set in, or if it's something else. Maybe that's just my pessimism, and I'm actually enjoying life for once.
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