Better than yesterday at least.

Today was kind of meh. I guess after how bad yesterday was and being calmer today, it must be normal to have a day like this which I don't really know how to describe. It was quiet which is nice, but it also felt a little chaotic here and there which isn't nice. I just sat in the living room in my boxers till it was time to get ready for work.

Alex talked to me about how it sucked to have to talk to her friend about what she and Matt did together. I think I was able to help. She said just talking helped. Later on, I kind of went to her about something about my mom. I was hoping she'd have something to say about it or knew what I should do, but she had nothing to say. She just said it was weird. It kind of bummed me out, but I didn't tell her. I didn't want to annoy her with my problems, because that's kind of what our relationship has come to. I help her when she comes to me, and.....that's it. She doesn't care about my problems; I just happen to care about hers.

Ryn and I had a nice discussion. I don't know if she read yesterday's post, but it felt like she did. I think so, because we talked about Texas some more and how we'd see if anything would happen between us because she admitted the only real reason she's still with her boyfriend is they don't both want to be bored and they don't care about each other. I kind of think she's waiting for me and her to get to know each other more. I don't mind being just friends right now, because that's all I really need. We're planning on going to Ikea which I'm really excited for. I like that place for some reason. She wants to pretend to be engaged looking for furniture.

I think I've officially given up trying to find a girlfriend. Emily hasn't talked to me in over a week, and it's just whatever. Despite being really cool (she's not so cool, though), and liking Red vs. Blue and stuff like that, there wasn't really a spark or anything. I was just using her for comfort and she used me for sex. Her plus all the other girls I'd met; it's like "fuck it." I've got a nice thing going with Ryn anyways, because she's a genuine and caring friend, and I don't feel the need to find another friend or a girlfriend with how fake everyone is.