I can feel myself slipping. I can feel the hate coming back in, and the want to be alone swarming. It isn't a slow creep like usual. It's an embracing of how I should always be to love and care about nothing.
Alex lead me on to believe I was doing something good, and then kicked me out showing her truly ungrateful nature. I even offered to help pay for her piercings. Ryn's never around anymore. My parents don't care about my problems, and see me as the problem. Shoe doesn't talk to me at all anymore, and acts like there's no way he wants to help.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna go to work and be happy to have something to do, and not have the shitty people I surround myself with on my mind.
I feel pretty stupid. I knew everything would suck again, and that, of course, the nice days would end. But I didn't think it'd be caused by the way Alex did it. I offered everything I had to help her, and it wasn't good enough. If she doesn't know I'll never be there for her again, she's in for a....well she won't even give a shit.
I feel stupid for letting the nice days make me feel just maybe a tattoo that says "Love Nothing" isn't a good idea. Honestly, it's the only good idea I could ever live by. I deleted all my online profiles, because I'm never going to try to make friends again. I didn't delete my Facebook, because there are actually people that care about me like Ashley, her mom, and Jason.
It's like when Alex broke up with me, because I did so one too many times. People have hurt me for the last time, and I'll never try to be nice to them or care about them again. If they aren't offering me anything, then they're worthless.
No comments:
Post a Comment