Lost everyone.

The chaos of who I am set in today, and it wasted no time. It's like it told me to stop fucking around pretending or trying to be happy. My whole body's shaking in response, and I had to to take an early lunch just to sit down and catch my breath.

So how did it happen? This darkness of mine dug its claws right into my core, and presented me with Ryn. Ryn is done talking to me. She said she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'm not taking it well, of course.

As if losing Alex (again) wasn't enough, now this. I can only be scared of what I'll lose next. I have no one else to lose, so will it be my job? 

A part of me is dying off, but another part of me is glad I've lost everyone. No more worrying about these fucking people and how they'll hurt me again. No more worrying about when they'll leave me. 

Everything hurts. I feel like throwing up.