Nice days?

The last couple days have been kind of....nice? The pain has been at a minimum, and I've felt kind of just at peace I guess. I don't know what it is, but I wouldn't mind if I felt like this all the time. I think if I could pick out an individual feeling, I'd say I'm lonely. I have Alex and Ryn, but they have others. I want someone who just has me like I do with them. Other than that, work has been doing a good job keeping me from falling any more.

I'm off of work for the next three days, and that makes me worried for how it'll affect me. I don't want to be stuck in my room doing nothing, because that's how I get depressed. Luckily, my computer parts will be here on Monday, and that'll be something for me. Grandma asked if I wanted to go eat that night, too, since my mom is gone for two weeks. So Monday may be a good buffer.

I made a tattoo for myself. I'd really be thinking seriously about what I want, and one day it just hit me. I wanted one of my favorite quotes "Take It Easy, Love Nothing," because that's been a pretty important quote in my life for a long time. Since then, I'd been thinking of a design to go with it. Today it hit me just out of nowhere. I think it's funny, because it has an old school hardcore and straight edge feel to it. My high school self was popping out. I guess it goes well with my new "punkish" style haircut. Either way, I'm really excited to get this as a tattoo now.

Yesterday, Alex and I didn't talk at all. It didn't really bother me. There was a mix of the fact that I'm only her friend (not best friend or boyfriend), and she specifically told me she doesn't talk to her friends everyday. But my other feelings were just that there wasn't anything we needed to talk about anyways. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that it didn't bother me like I'd think it would in retrospect.

We did talk a lot today. She's in love with my tattoo. She mentioned how if it had an oval Victorian frame around it, she'd probably want it as a tattoo, too. Her being as important to me as she is, it was no problem at all to draw it up for her. She liked that one a lot, too. It made me really happy that she liked my tattoo so much.

Ryn told me she think'd be fun to take pictures with me. I thought that'd be cool. I told her I'd teach her PhotoShop if she wanted, and she seemed pretty giddy at the idea of that. I told her I'd come over and install it on her computer. This all kind of made me a little sad, because that stuff was something I enjoyed doing with Alex. Now I'm doing it with two girls in which I'm not dating neither of them.