Trying really hard to enjoy life.

Tonight has be considerably better than last night. I guess, because I talked to people online rather than sat around till I became depressed and talked to people. I don't know what to do. I really want to learn to be okay on my own, but it's so boring and depressing. I really just need to make irl friends, but I don't know where to go to meet people.

It doesn't help at all that I'm talking to another girl. Sigh. I really shouldn't, but she seems to like me and she's cool. But I'm already at the stage where I get fucked up and freak out when I don't hear from her. It's because she can't text, and she's never online. We talk on the phone. We talked earlier, and she said she'd call me back...but that never happened. It really sucks so much. I don't want to feel like this, but I don't want to be completely alone.

I do really enjoy having friends at work. It's honestly the highlight of my day. Working is stressful, tiring, but it's fun to be with friends. Today was really good. I laughed a lot, and it was nice.

Alex has not said anything to me. Her Tumblr had a post about "You're dead to me." I have no idea if it's directed to me, or it's just another of her "yeah, I'm hxc" post. I honestly feel like it's directed to me. I don't think about it too much, though. I don't think about her, either. This really is it between us. I'm moving on, and she has her shitty "boyfriend." The sad thing is I'll probably still have to work to get over her. I mean I still think of Emily, so....that sucks.

Life is boring, and not the good, simplified boring I'd like. Some days, my day is boring but it's nice and I enjoy being quiet and keeping to myself. But lately, I'm starving for connection. I'm sure this phase will burn out within the week like everything else does.

I bought Darksiders on Steam for $5. That was cool, because I was thinking I wanted to play it again before the second game comes out. Ugh. So many games on my plate right now, and I honestly have no idea what to do. I'm a little sad to have my computer, because I was enjoying Final Fantasy XIII so much, and now I just can't feel fucked to play it.