Expendable.

Day one without Facebook feels weird. Like I said yesterday, the biggest problem is getting out of the habit of checking it. Every time I get on the computer, I automatically go for where the FB bookmark was located and it's not there. I also feel like I really have no reason to sit on the computer anymore. If I wanna post on Twitter, I do it with my iPhone. If I wanna read my webcomics and gaming news sites, I can do that with the apps that were made for them on my iPhone. The only real reason I'd really be on my computer anymore now is to watch something or play a game.

Alex and I probably aren't talking again for a while, so I don't care to look at her Tumblr just like she probably won't care to read my blog. Another reason why I don't need the internet. She probably never cared about me since she has her best friend, Brian, who treats her so great. She couldn't even take one minute to be nice to me after I was the one making her feel better every time Brian made her unhappy. If she considers him her best friend, then I must be totally out of her mind unless she's sad again.

I got rid of all of my online friends, and Alex is the only one left. She keeps treating me like I'm expendable, and it's making me really close to not caring about her "friendship" anymore. Sometimes when I'm writing out my feelings like this, I feel like I hate Alex and want her gone, and I know I come off as that when I get upset while texting her. But really, I get upset because I fucking care. She's the only person I let read this damn blog, and I could just make it private so she can't see it if I wanted. Other people have asked if they could read it, and I flat out said no. I just want her to show some fucking appreciation for what I do for her. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

I got my new motherboard in the mail, so having my gaming computer will be a nice distraction for the next....however long I have to feel like shit because of someone else. Which may be another day or two.

It is dumb that I'm finally getting my computer back, though. All I wanted was to play Deus Ex, but I ended up buying Final Fantasy XIII for PS3 last week, and I've fallen in love. Lennon has taken to watching me play it after school. He's 8 and he really ought to be getting into games, right? I've taught him what a cutscene is, and other game stuff. It's been nice just hanging out with my little brother, and actually talking about the story (which he surprisingly keeps up with).