I've disappointed my mom by having no will to further my career, and being constantly ungrateful. I've hurt my brothers by being insensitive. I cheated on my ex's by being emotionally unavailable, and shrugged off how they felt. I severed my ties with my dad, and have no relationship with my sister. I threw away all of my friends, and ruined an 18 year friendship with Evan.

I have an imaginary female friend based on a mix of Emily, Alex, and what I imagine the perfect girlfriend would be for me. I've been talking to her since I moved to Atlanta as a way to cope with the loneliness. When Emily, broke up with me, my relationship with my imaginary friend became that much more important. She kept me from going completely insane at times. When I met and started dating Alex, she became a cute way to express my complete desire to be with Alex in person. As our relationship began to fall apart, my imaginary friend became more important and really took on a real life of her own. It is now at the point where I would be completely depressed if I forced her out of my life, and it is even hindering my ability to ever be happy with a real person. Just knowing that depresses me, because it says that I've got to start moving on. Just saying that, I can see her looking at me sadfully as if to say "I have to go?" And it almost brings tears to my eyes.

I told her she doesn't have to go anywhere.