Today started very nicely. I was getting along with everyone. I was having fun, the truckload was a bare minimum which meant an easy work day.

But then everyone started picking on me again. It was like a barrage of attacks from everywhere for a good while. Not too long afterwards, my supervisor told me to go home, because he didn't need me anymore. That bummed me out more, because he made it feel personal. I also needed the hours. I was able to at least stay a little more longer.

Even still, it all pushed me down a dark hole today. I didn't talk to anyone for the rest of the day and kept to myself. It got me thinking of my darkness again. There's nothing really new to say about it. I mean it's the same as always I guess. I get picked on, and feel alone and like no one cares about me.

I saw on Alex's Tumblr she was having a bad day, too. I thought about how I was glad I was able to stop caring about things like that, and learn that it's just her PMDD. It was a horrible waste of my time trying to care, and be there for her. I have to admit, though, that I really enjoy reading about when she's doing bad. It makes me feel good.

I guess I just want her and everyone else to feel shitty. I get off on it like a sick freak. I don't mind it so much.

I wonder how long it'll be before I stop even reading her Tumblr. I still look at Emily's FB. I guess I'll never really stop.

I feel like I had more to say on here, but I can't really remember. I guess those are the only two things going on lately. I work, and stalk Alex's Tumblr. But I'll have my shows on Monday, and then midnight release of Battlefield 3 that night. So, I'll be feeling better soon enough.