Today at work, the manager chewed us out for a good hour. It was cool, because that was one hour down doing nothing. I enjoyed it. It was pretty easy going tonight, too. Thank god. I'm about done with how busy we've been.

Dora and I got into a fight. She had started talking about how maybe we're just too different, and I said if this is it then just say so. Upon being close to losing me, she started rationalizing shit about staying together and wanting to make it work. The trick is that she needs a day or two to calm down, so she doesn't say stuff like that anymore. The fact is that we are too different, and I thought I'd get over it.

But cocaine? Like I said last night, there's just no way I can do it. I plan to bring it up when she's ready to talk again. I don't really want to manipulate her into hating me and leaving me. It's just a mean thing to do, but she like....really likes me and I don't want to just throw her off and hurt her. In the end, I just gotta do what's right for me, though.

At least, I'm not being hurt.

On the way home tonight, I had my iPhone on shuffle and it started playing All I Ever Wanted by The Air Toxic....something. Whatever they're called. The point is that I really wish I could stop thinking about Alex. It sucks that she'll be a scar on me forever, and I'm just an insect in her life if that much.

That's why I made my blog private. I hate that she could know everything going on with me, and I have no idea what's going on with her. I know Brian broke it off, and only because she accidentally texted that to me. So, really. Does it make sense to let her know my every thought? It doesn't, and it's unfair. That's why she's not my friend.

I'm doing okay, but there's just that feeling where everything's slowly beginning to suck again. I'm actually choosing to go back to how I was. Alone, bored with everything. I mean I guess it's better than dealing with Alex or Dora. I'll probably make a new Facebook, and only add people I actually like talking to which is maybe three people. Or just delete everyone off my old FB.

More importantly, I need a new computer chair. This one is broken, and it's killing my back. Fucker.