Moving on is proving to be a little difficult.

Everything hurts tonight. Really bad in fact. I think maybe because I've just been focusing on it so much. I honestly am done dating Alex. I feel this way for real, and I'm not deluding myself. I was actually doing really good today, but then all of a sudden everything just hurts so bad.

I guess it's like a physical wound. Even if the initial pain is gone and you're fine, it still takes time to fully heal. I'm over Alex, but it still hurts a lot. And it sucks because when I think about it, she's probably doing totally fine. Doesn't give a shit, or anything.

But that's my problem. I keep thinking about how she's doing, and how it's affecting me and everything, I just need to let go, and not care. Just stop thinking about it. Luckily, I may be getting a job really soon, and I can meet new people and have fun and actually have a life for once, and put Alex behind me.

In fact, she's supposed to talk to me some day, but the more that time passes by, the more I just wanna forget her altogether. I'll never really forget her, but if I could get to the point to where when I think of her, it doesn't mean anything (like with a lot of old girlfriends), then that'd be fine.

I'll just need to get more of a life, and maybe one day I'll meet someone in person. That'll change a lot I think. Being cooped up all the time sitting in front of a computer is really unhealthy, and it's probably a big reason why I'm so depressed. I've been thinking about deleting FB and everything, because I just hate it. Especially lately. I just keep going to Alex's FB, and crazily hoping that, for some reason, I'll be able to see her profile that time. I'm becoming obsessed, and it sucks.

I don't know. Everything sucks right now, but everything passes. Even our shittiest arguments and fights passed and let us get along for a while. So all this should pass, too, and I can just get on with everything.

I still plan on moving to Seattle one day, and being able to go to PAX every year. That was always a dream of mine, and to be able to go there with my girlfriend. That was a dream way before Alex, and I'm not gonna let a shitty relationship ruin all that for me. So, I guess I still have stuff to look forward to.