I got a dose of cold reality today. For some reason, I'm a naturally hopeful person. So when Alex told me she wanted to stay friends, I was hoping I could still talk to her. But the reality was that I'm really not her problem anymore. She truly let go of me, and has no care for me.
How can she be so ready to want nothing to do with me anymore? I thought I meant something to her. I only meant enough to her so that she told me not to cut myself. She doesn't want to be responsible for what I do to myself, and she did some heavy hinting that she's not going to talk to me about her problems anymore and that I need to seek help elsewhere.
What's the point of getting help when I have no one around to care about me getting better? What's the point of doing anything. Emily left me, and now Alex. It's clear that no one's gonna want me in the long run.
I guess all I can do is keep cutting. And now I don't have to worry about what she thinks anymore. Cutting hasn't really helped lately, so I'll just keep cutting till I feel better.
Why doesn't anyone love me.
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