I felt like I had something to write about, but I don't know what to say. I feel like...I feel like I figured out the way the world works too early. When you see the angry old people, because they've gotten to the point in their life where they realize life sucks and that's all there is to it. They're just old and angry. I feel like that except I'm still young.

There isn't a secret to life. Life sucks, and I don't mean it in the joking way where people try to make light of it. I mean it in a whole hearted way in the way in the sense that if anything good ever happens, then it's by chance. Either it wasn't supposed to happen, or you just got lucky.

A good example of that, to me, is being in love. Love isn't real. It's just a surge of emotions and pheromones. It's a chemical imbalance. The only reason people want it so bad is because that feeling is like any drug. It's addicting, and it makes us feel good. We also seek it on a primal level. We are animals, and all animals seek to reproduce. That's all there really is to it.

I can't sit here and act like I'm above everyone else, because I'm addicted to that feeling, too. I've tasted it a lot, and I feel like my whole life will be spent looking for it again. I just kind of hate that. I hate that something that ruined me is all I want.