Well, I guess it's that time again. I poked my head out of my hole trying to find something or someone. I know every now and again, I'll feel safe and want to have a look around outside my own little world, and I guess it's healthy to do so as a firm reminder that it's not safe.

I feel lonely, and I feel really depressed about it. Whatever I say about feeling like being on my own is the best option, I really would just like someone around. Maybe deep down I'm just sad that I don't really have an option.

I tried to go into my little hole and shut everything out, but I couldn't this time. It's really a process. Everything does and will hurt for a while, and then it'll all quiet back down. I'll quiet down, and remember my place.

The problem is that I feel unwanted. I go looking for someone to like me. Finding no one is one thing, but having your hopes up is a whole other beast. It's a slow and agonizing pain. I had a hard time falling asleep last night. I read these things as I write and they come off as far fetched, so what does it mean that it's all true?

You know, and maybe this will sound corny or lame, but a lot of people say nothing matters when they get down. But maybe, really, it's just me that doesn't matter.