I've known this for a while, but it's seemed to have become a bigger force in my life and has made me feel really confused. I have some bad commitment issues. I get bored, and start sabotaging everything. And the weirdest thing is that it feels so right. It would feel wrong to not do those things.

Of course I know where it comes from and why I developed them, because it's not so much as commitment issues as it is a mental block that I created to protect myself. I've been talking to a girl for a month, we fucked a lot, and now I feel like I've gotten what I want. That's when the want and need to be alone comes into place. I barely talk to her anymore, and when I do I'm questioning everything she does.

At the same time, I'm talking to a new girl. Girls have become like video games for me; I get bored after a week or some, and want a new one. Even before the girl I've been talking to for a month, I had been on a pretty big amount of dates with some other girls and fooled around with some.

I feel like I'm making up for something. Really, though, I just got fucked real hard and now everything's backward for me. I used to just want to be in love and do everything with them. Now, all I even can do is fuck girls with no emotions involved and move on.

Maybe it's just because I'm 23, and I'll naturally move on to more mature things. Hopefully.