Update.

I've gone back to normal; normal as in what I would be like without the distraction of a relationship or trying to find one, etc. It doesn't mean I'm any more happy, but it doesn't mean I'm really ever sad. I have become very content to the point where I shove out new ideas in trying to make sure there are no new factors in my life to try and alter my, not really new at this point, place in the world.

Alex has literally become a thing of the past. I don't think of her at all anymore, and I only do so now to write down the fact. I think if I really had to think about it, she's become a haunting; something (someone) that is not safe to be around, and the very idea of it (her) should not be approached. I hate her, and that is all I will say on the subject.

Of course, I think about Emily and Evan, but they've become more like a memory based on taking so much of my life to the point that I can't really not ever think of them sometimes. The difference, really, is that it doesn't hurt to think about them. It kind of bums me out, but I recognize that they've become a band aid in which the pain comes in one burst and then disappears, therefore giving me no reason to really dread about it.

Andrew and I are very good friends. In fact, I'd go as far as to say he has become the best friend I've had in a very long time. I don't have to try with him or pretend. We don't stutter for things to talk about; we just talk. He calls sometimes, which is funny because it reminds me when it was the norm back in the day for friends to call for no reason and just talk. We can tell each other things; we have each others back. I believe if one of us was to ever leave Sears, we would still maintain our friendship in another way. It's nice to have this friend.

Life in general is not so bad anymore, but for the wrong reasons. I am not so naive as to not see that, yes, I have shut myself off to the world. I really have become a shell, but I'm not complaining. I have things that do make me very happy and things that I look forward to and enjoy doing. They might not be....wondrous things, but they do the job.